The Diary Letter to the Future
by erikismyangel
Summary: A different view on Lord Voldemort's past, where his actions are caused by his mother's curse. I suggest not reading this if you want to continue viewing him as completely evil.


To anyone brave enough to read this,

Here I write my confession. Everything written here is true. May the gods strike me down if there is a single lie. Though, truthfully, perhaps that wouldn't be such a bad thing. But best to start from the beginning.

I was born to a witch by the name of Merope Riddle on 31 December, 1926. She, rather than attempting to find a proper home for me during her pregnancy since she didn't want me, merely went to an orphanage once she was in labour, and left me there. She named me after the father that abandoned me and the grandfather that abused and disowned her. But, unknown to any other than myself, she did leave me with something, a rather unpleasant something. She cursed me. Because she wanted to get back at the world for everything that happened to her, she cursed me to become the most powerful, most evil wizard of all time. That was what actually caused her death. It drained all her energy and emotions and put them into me.

I was alone, and abused during my childhood. The orphanage was not a pleasant place. The other children never understood me, nor even cared to try. All they did was make fun of me and hit and kick me. All I wanted was to escape from them, but the curse acted every time and made me do something to hurt them in return. I tried to fight it, but magic that powerful and Dark is obviously impossible for a child to break.

When Professor Dumbledore came and told me I was a wizard, I wasn't truly surprised. I knew no mere mortal would be able to do the things I was forced to. But I mistakenly hoped that he and the Wizarding World would have a cure. That hope was removed almost immediately. Not only did Dumbledore not have a cure, but he also seemed to have no sympathy or any idea of what afflicted me. He disliked me from then on, and even went so far as to try to twist everything that went wrong in the school to be my fault. I couldn't comprehend how he could be so cruel to me when he was almost a paternal figure to everyone else.

School, I had hoped, would be a better place than the orphanage, and it was, in the physical abuse department, but I was still shunned, and made fun of. Every comment I overheard, and they made sure I overheard plenty, every one cut me deeper. Thankfully, the curse only seemed to work on single students when I was alone with them in my early years, so I took every opportunity to stay away from people. I became the best student the school had ever seen, partially because of natural talent, partially because of the power given me by the curse, but mostly because I used every spare moment to study. I hoped that if I learned enough, I would find a way to escape the curse, but nothing I tried worked.

As I got later into my school years, the curse became even stronger than before. So much so that once I stumbled across the information about the Chamber of Secrets, I was compelled to open it and unleash the basilisk on the students. It killed a girl. I was utterly horrified by it, but the curse didn't stop at that. No, the curse wasn't satisfied with the mere killing of an innocent student, I also had to blame it all on someone else, and get them expelled for something that was my own fault! Additionally, I was forced to surround myself with other students who wanted the same things the curse wanted. Namely, power and pureblood dominance.

I was desperate to find a cure, so I decided to pay my mother's hometown a visit, hoping there would be some clue, but I found nothing but my uncle and my father. I went over to the house Morfin said my father lived in, to attempt to ask him questions about my mother, but again the curse took over, and I was forced to kill both my father and my grandparents, and to set up Morfin to take the blame for it.

I am not necessarily proud to admit this, but eventually I started contemplating ending my life to stop the curse, but it stepped in once more before I could summon the courage to do so. It used knowledge I had recently gained in passing from a book, and made me ask Professor Slughorn about it after one of his parties. Horcruxes. A most horrid subject matter, but I had no control over my own voice. I understood immediately what the curse was trying to do. If a Horcrux was created, I would be unable to die, and therefore unable to stop it that way. I tried everything I could to end things before one was created, but every time I tried, the curse would freeze me and then use my body to remove any instruments able to complete the job. It had complete control over me much of the time, and soon managed to create not one, but multiple Horcruxes. It was too late, and all I could do was attempt to control it to the best of my ability.

By now, I was nearly done with my final school year. It was definitely time to think of what would come after school. My only option that wouldn't let the curse have free reign would be to remain at Hogwarts, so I decided to apply for a teaching position. I approached Headmaster Dippet immediately after graduation about the position of Defence Against the Dark Arts, but he rejected my application on the grounds that he believed me to be too young. He invited me to apply again in a few years, but I knew that would be too late. I wanted to tell him why I needed the position, but I lost control of my voice again once I even thought of telling him. I was forced to leave Hogwarts.

After the disappointing rejection, the curse took over in order to make more Horcruxes. Albania was the next stop, and then back to Britain. When I arrived back, I was offered several positions at the Ministry, but I rejected them, believing it to be safer for people if I didn't get into a position with that much power. Instead, the curse decided I would work at Borgin and Burkes. I suspect it chose that place to keep an eye out for powerful objects worthy of becoming Horcruxes, but none appeared. I became friends with Hepzibah Smith, but once she revealed her treasures, I was forced to kill the only friend I had acquired, and cover it up by framing her house elf. That was one of the absolute worst nights of my existence. And two more Horcruxes were created.

After Hepzibah's murder, I was completely taken over. I have had no control whatsoever over my actions, other than when I am completely alone, which is an extremely rare occurrence. I have used that time to write this and continue the search for a cure. The curse took up the offer to apply again, but only because I couldn't get the position under Dumbledore's watch. The time in Hogwarts was to hide one of the many Horcruxes where no one could easily find it.

I am, unfortunately, completely aware of everything that happens through my body, even though I am without control, and I must apologise from the bottom of my heart, though it seems empty to everyone around me. I am truly sorry for all the evil, despicable acts done through my body and in my name, as well as the name the curse designed for me. I hope my reign of terror is brought to an end as soon as possible. Death will be a relief after a lifetime of cruelty, abuse, and being forced to do exactly the opposite of what I truly want. For I never wanted harm to come to anyone else. I experienced first-hand how horrible it is, and wished to keep that away from as many people as I could help, but my mother had other ideas.

Until death frees me,

Your most hated enemy,

Tom Marvolo Riddle

I am Lord Voldemort.


End file.
